okay. so today will be totally random. get ready.
ethan got a FurReal friends, Scamps My Playful Pup for christmas. if you have not seen the commercials, it's a dog that you can call commands out to and it responds by doing that command. ethan loves it - but frankly, i'm a little scared of it. the whole concept of an electronic pet is just too bizarre for me. ethan cannot speak "real" english, but yet it responds to him. when he plays with it he gets on the floor and looks in the face and says "puppy!" - and then the dog moves his head around and wags it's tail. "puppy" is not a command...i think the thing is possessed. and realize, too, not everyone can understand a 21 month old's version of words. again, another reason i think the dog is possessed.
emily is obsessed with watching a dvd dan burned with video of her and ethan. if we'd let her, she'd watch it 24/7. i hope she likes it - we could not fill a dvd with video from last year, we hardly took any!!!
warning: skip the next two paragraphs if you don't want to read about the icky things i'm dwelling on today.
yesterday i got a copy of my brother's accident report. i was prepared to read it - i wanted too. anyway, i got past the first two pages fine - mostly those pages dealt with the officer filling in the blanks on what part of the vehicle was damaged, road conditions, etc. the most comforting thing i got from reading it was the coroner's observation/opinion at the scene. he said chris most likely died on impact of ejection. i wanted to know that - but in no way did i want to know that by reading a graphic coroner's report. so i guess that makes me feel okay, knowing he did not suffer when the other truck struck and dragged (or drug?? bufkin, correct me in your head). i'm still struggling with making sense of it all. not that i want to do anything with the information, but the man's name and birthdate was in the report - the guy that hit him. he left the scene after it happened. that sorta irked me, but anyway.
i wish i could get the vision out of my head of him flipping his suv, going off the road, flying through the air and knowing he was possibly about to die. i'm really messed up about what people are thinking about when they know, or have a feeling, they are about to die. i struggled with it a lot when dan's dad died, and i've never really gotten it straight since. i only know if someday i'm in a dire situation, i know i'll be so upset knowing i'll never see my husband again, or live to watch my kids grow up - but i guess that'll only be if i have a long time to think about things, not dying suddenly. how depressing you say?? well, today i guess it's just a day for me to have a pity party and be sad. i go for a few days not even thinking about it, and then one day it's like a tidal wave of emotion. pardon my language, but i'm just pissed all this happened to him and i feel terrible for my mom. so anyway.
i thank God for my kids today. they are happy and relatively healthy and they fill my heart with pure joy. same feelings for the third one - even if sometimes he/she makes me vomit.
ethan got a FurReal friends, Scamps My Playful Pup for christmas. if you have not seen the commercials, it's a dog that you can call commands out to and it responds by doing that command. ethan loves it - but frankly, i'm a little scared of it. the whole concept of an electronic pet is just too bizarre for me. ethan cannot speak "real" english, but yet it responds to him. when he plays with it he gets on the floor and looks in the face and says "puppy!" - and then the dog moves his head around and wags it's tail. "puppy" is not a command...i think the thing is possessed. and realize, too, not everyone can understand a 21 month old's version of words. again, another reason i think the dog is possessed.
emily is obsessed with watching a dvd dan burned with video of her and ethan. if we'd let her, she'd watch it 24/7. i hope she likes it - we could not fill a dvd with video from last year, we hardly took any!!!
warning: skip the next two paragraphs if you don't want to read about the icky things i'm dwelling on today.
yesterday i got a copy of my brother's accident report. i was prepared to read it - i wanted too. anyway, i got past the first two pages fine - mostly those pages dealt with the officer filling in the blanks on what part of the vehicle was damaged, road conditions, etc. the most comforting thing i got from reading it was the coroner's observation/opinion at the scene. he said chris most likely died on impact of ejection. i wanted to know that - but in no way did i want to know that by reading a graphic coroner's report. so i guess that makes me feel okay, knowing he did not suffer when the other truck struck and dragged (or drug?? bufkin, correct me in your head). i'm still struggling with making sense of it all. not that i want to do anything with the information, but the man's name and birthdate was in the report - the guy that hit him. he left the scene after it happened. that sorta irked me, but anyway.
i wish i could get the vision out of my head of him flipping his suv, going off the road, flying through the air and knowing he was possibly about to die. i'm really messed up about what people are thinking about when they know, or have a feeling, they are about to die. i struggled with it a lot when dan's dad died, and i've never really gotten it straight since. i only know if someday i'm in a dire situation, i know i'll be so upset knowing i'll never see my husband again, or live to watch my kids grow up - but i guess that'll only be if i have a long time to think about things, not dying suddenly. how depressing you say?? well, today i guess it's just a day for me to have a pity party and be sad. i go for a few days not even thinking about it, and then one day it's like a tidal wave of emotion. pardon my language, but i'm just pissed all this happened to him and i feel terrible for my mom. so anyway.
i thank God for my kids today. they are happy and relatively healthy and they fill my heart with pure joy. same feelings for the third one - even if sometimes he/she makes me vomit.
posted by Michelle at 12:27 PM
6 Comments:
i don't mean to make light of the rest of your e-mail but i think it's pretty funny that you closed with the fact that you love your 3rd child even though he makes you vomit! oh and about ethan's dog...remind's me of chucky of child's play fame. i still can't watch that movie. i don't know how i watched it way back in the day. freaks me out.
i don't take myself so seriously these days...you didn't make light of anything!! :)
i think you're entitled to use "dragged" or "drug" any way you want to in your post. i correct no one's grammar on a blog.
i know you've been struggling with this issue for quite some time. i wish i had better answers for you... words are my business, but they always fail in times like these. i love you, and i'm still praying for you.
I'm pretty sure that my teddy ruxpin killed my parakeet in 3rd grade. I don't have proof, but he looked awfully suspicious and wouldn't answer any questions about the parakeet's whereabouts.
Poor Prettybird. Curses on you, Ruxbin!
That dog does sound odd.... I wouldn't be alone in the house with it if I were you. On the other hand, can you sic it on somebody you don't like? You might could turn this to your advantage...;-)
Sounds like you had a hard day... You're still in my prayers. Love you.
my niece has that dog!! i was a little freaked out by it too! she would say all the commands and it would do it. technology these days!
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