my only brother chris was killed early sunday morning on his way to work. he was late, speeding, and was not wearing his seat belt. i don't want to write the details, but i will say he was ejected and did not live.
chris was 30 years old, just 8 days shy of his 31st birthday. he was a big guy, over six foot. he loved sports, played softball year-round and was a LSU fanatic. i tortured him as a child, so we did not have the greatest relationship. i graduated high school when he was in the 8th grade, and as adults we lived in separate cities and never got the chance to see one another a lot. i think that's the reason we never connected later in life. i also did a lot of growing up after high school - chris only knew the person i was before Jesus saved me - and he did not like that person. i wish we would have built a different relationship as adults, but sadly that did not happen.
the last time i spent any time with him was last christmas, and that was very brief. he worked the night shift at a prison and only had limited time to see us. actually, christmas was the last time i really even talked to him, and i remember we did not even make eye contact. we had an argument and never really settled things. i still kept up with what he was doing, only i asked my mom, i never talked to him.
even though we were not close, i'll miss him just the same. there is a bond between siblings arguments can't break. and i'm terribly saddened knowing my kids will never know their uncle. he loved kids and i know he loved them. ethan looks just like chris, so i guess we'll always see chris' face in his (and his ears - both ethan and chris have huge boudreau ears). we've lost dan's dad, and now my brother. now there are two people in their lives we have to make sure they know. i'm not sure how to do that, but i guess dan and i will figure it out.
in the past i've always just rolled my eyes when people tell you to make sure and let your loved ones know how they are loved and how much they mean to you. i mean, my deal is people should now how you feel. well, i'm not completely sure chris knew. i wish i'd expressed to him in my heart i loved him unconditionally even though my pride kept me from a relationship with him. don't get me wrong, i'm not going to turn into a serial hugger, but i plan to do a better job of letting people know what they mean to me. we are truly not guarenteed another day.
let me also say my brother was a christian. he made a committment to Christ when he was in high school. that comforts me a little, to know he is with the Lord, but of course i'd rather have him here. our lives will never be the same now that he's gone. i can't imagine living the rest of my life as an only child.
chris was 30 years old, just 8 days shy of his 31st birthday. he was a big guy, over six foot. he loved sports, played softball year-round and was a LSU fanatic. i tortured him as a child, so we did not have the greatest relationship. i graduated high school when he was in the 8th grade, and as adults we lived in separate cities and never got the chance to see one another a lot. i think that's the reason we never connected later in life. i also did a lot of growing up after high school - chris only knew the person i was before Jesus saved me - and he did not like that person. i wish we would have built a different relationship as adults, but sadly that did not happen.
the last time i spent any time with him was last christmas, and that was very brief. he worked the night shift at a prison and only had limited time to see us. actually, christmas was the last time i really even talked to him, and i remember we did not even make eye contact. we had an argument and never really settled things. i still kept up with what he was doing, only i asked my mom, i never talked to him.
even though we were not close, i'll miss him just the same. there is a bond between siblings arguments can't break. and i'm terribly saddened knowing my kids will never know their uncle. he loved kids and i know he loved them. ethan looks just like chris, so i guess we'll always see chris' face in his (and his ears - both ethan and chris have huge boudreau ears). we've lost dan's dad, and now my brother. now there are two people in their lives we have to make sure they know. i'm not sure how to do that, but i guess dan and i will figure it out.
in the past i've always just rolled my eyes when people tell you to make sure and let your loved ones know how they are loved and how much they mean to you. i mean, my deal is people should now how you feel. well, i'm not completely sure chris knew. i wish i'd expressed to him in my heart i loved him unconditionally even though my pride kept me from a relationship with him. don't get me wrong, i'm not going to turn into a serial hugger, but i plan to do a better job of letting people know what they mean to me. we are truly not guarenteed another day.
let me also say my brother was a christian. he made a committment to Christ when he was in high school. that comforts me a little, to know he is with the Lord, but of course i'd rather have him here. our lives will never be the same now that he's gone. i can't imagine living the rest of my life as an only child.
posted by Michelle at 2:02 PM
4 Comments:
Michelle I am SO sorry to hear about your brother. We will definitely keep you and your family in our prayers.
jessica passed on the news to me yesterday. i've been praying for you and will continue to lift you, your pregnancy, and your family up to the Lord. let me know if there's anything i can do.
Michelle - I'm so sorry to hear about Chris. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Just remember that one day you will get to throw your arms around him and tell him face to face how much you love him - you have that to always look forward to.... I love you!
i love you.
Post a Comment
<< Home